I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
