"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Mom said you looked used
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize