I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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