On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
