the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
