can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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