I'm passing your future prison.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
