wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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