I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just google imaged poop.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
COCAINE IS GR8
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
