pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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