I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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