Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
