I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
