How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
