I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
