Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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