her vagine was all disorganized.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
