Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
