Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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