worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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