he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
