My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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