Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
