Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
