Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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