She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
