I need help removing her.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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