i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
