So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
