oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
