wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
