can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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