I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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