In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
