You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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