What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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