Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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