Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
