on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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