Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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