I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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