new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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