I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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