In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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