I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize