chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
im holly from the hills drunk
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize