YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have aggressive nipples.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
