are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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