Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
