pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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