I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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