I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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