Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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