we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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