Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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