And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
