Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
