Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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