SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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