i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize