Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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