i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
