I forgot how hot balto sounded
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I deserve this hangover.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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